My Top Ten Fears: and how I am addressing them
I am often asked if I am scared. The answer is, of course, YES.
So as a companion piece to a
video episode, here they are and what I am doing to address them.
Top-Ten Fears
#10: Going Up
Before I bought a boat, I was in awe of and somewhat frightened by the prospect of climbing the mast to do repairs. In fact, by getting the right piece of equipment, a self mast climber, I have now done it frequently and always enjoy it. However, the fear of having to do in the middle of the Pacific is still unnerving. I did an episode about the Mast Climber.
#9: Going down
A companion fear to going up is my fear of going down and under the boat, which I may have to do to untangle debris or seaweed that gets caught up on the rudder or keel, or to inspect the through holes etc. I am really doing nothing to prepare for this other than considering what equipment to use. Hmmmmm. Let me be clear that the fear is not of swimming or checking the boat, but rather what lies and lurks in the depths below . . . shiver.
#8: Storms
My challenge is to stay on the bright side of lows and the right side of highs. My course will take me within latitudes 35-40 and with the prevailing winds. I will download weather reports each day and will have the advice of a meteroloogist on land.
#7: Mechanical Repairs
I am not mechanically inclined and knew virtually nothing about diesel engines. My mate Tony, who is a genius mechanic, is going to teach me TEN THINGS I need to know about repairing engines. Thanks Tony.
#6: Being alone
Yep. This is also a compelling reason to go. There are three aspects to this. First, is I am a social person and I enjoy my family and friends, and I will miss the interaction. Secondly, I am a worrier and will be wondering how everyone is. And then there is the `madness` that solo sailors purportedly experience. But at the deepest level, I guess I fear that that the fear of my childhood will rear itself and that is a fear of the dark that gripped me for most many nights over many years. I have never shared that publicly before. So, I fear that the fear of being alone on a dark sea will be terrifying. That being said, it is also incredibly compelling and I want to experience aloneness at Nemo North and ponder profound themes.
#5: Hitting something
Three things in particular:
- ships. . AIS will help warn me when they are nearby;
- whales . . . I will be sure to send out acoustic waves of some sort to alert them I am in the vicinity so they do not accidently bump into my fiberglass boat;
- slightly submerged containers which there is nothing I can do.
#4: Falling overboard
My policy is to always be tethered when on deck and in the cockpit.
#3: Running out of money
Having put in my life savings already to buy the boat and get the project thus far, I am reliant on my Patreons and sponsors to support the project. This includes getting all the safety equipment. And to leave in May, I need to be 80% ready by January 2021.
#2: Not Going
This actually used to be my number one fear until a couple of months ago. In the words of someone else,
"The fear of NOT doing it is now greater than the fear of doing it!"
And the number one fear?
#1: My Mother
That I will arrive too late and my mother will not know my name.
So not in haste, but with determination, due diligence and every ounce of courage I can muster, I will set sail in a few months' time to achieve my goal!
